Why Cities Need More Teenagers Like Gary’s Langston Stalling

It’s a city that steals the young, takes children from their mothers and mothers from their children. It’s a city where lives slip away easily and efficiently, lost to the streets, to jails, to gangs and guns.

The headlines tell the same story — Gary, Indiana is a dangerous place to live. Five years ago, its homicide rate per capita was among the highest in the nation. That same year, The (Munster) Times reported 42 homicides in Gary. Last year, there were 46 murders. So far this year, there have been 18, according to NWI Times. And the numbers are expected to climb.

City leaders are trying to change the narrative through initiatives and programs. But in the end, it may just come down to people who are striving to make a difference like 18-year-old Langston Stalling.

A star athlete, Stalling rose to become his high school’s valedictorian while amassing almost $700,000 in awards and scholarships including the Eli Lily Scholarship that guaranteed him a free ride to a university of his choice in Indiana. Although he won’t be able to take advantage of offers from colleges he declined, it’s an unprecedented amount for Gary, according to his aunt.  She describes the 6-feet, 4-inch tall teen as respectful, family-oriented, God-fearing, reserved and quietly brilliant. His former principal describes him as astute, dedicated, committed, focused and brave.

He’s one of Gary’s little-known success stories. But, perhaps Stalling’s story isn’t just about a teen who beat the odds as a young black male growing up in Gary. Perhaps, his story is about what can happen when you have the backing of a strong family and a supportive community.

Becoming Stalling

Rose Marie Joiner knows what people say about Gary, that it’s a murder capital. But, she doesn’t believe the numbers. She knows what they say about the kids from Gary. That they are all bad.  But, she pointed out, “There are bad kids everywhere.”

Joiner is the director of John Will Anderson Boys & Girls Club in Gary  where Stalling has been working for the past three months as a youth director professional. He works with children, six to eight-years-old, teaching them baseball.

Joiner has known Stalling since he was a child and a member of the club. She was one of his first basketball coaches. She said his level of maturity and thoughtfulness is a rarity among people his age.

“He’s very focused and determined,” Joiner said.

And, she believes it comes from the way he was raised. Joiner wasn’t used to dealing with a child who has both parents. Hers was a world overflowing with tired single moms and detached foster parents. But, Langston didn’t only have both parents. He had a network.

About 20 family members live in his community including his 88-year-old grandfather who often takes him and his brother fishing and his aunt who once owned the daycare where they learned their ABCs, vowels, and consonants.

“When you go to his basketball games, you not only see his parents, you see his aunts, uncles and cousins,” Joiner said. And sometimes, she said, you’ll see his pastor and church members. “They have all been there.”

Joiner, who has been with the Boys & Girls Club for 33 years, said she wishes she could see more involved parents like Kenneth and Pamela Stalling.

“They are a very supportive team, spiritually; working with the kids, supporting them,” Joiner said. “That’s really how you raise kids, by being a major part of their lives and the decisions that they make.”

Stalling, who is the youngest of four children, has always wanted to succeed, his father said.

“He was adamant about his grades. He had to be the first in his class, the one with the highest grade. He always wanted to be the leader,” the elder Stalling said

But first he had to follow. He watched his older siblings as they studied hard, applied themselves and went after their goals. They applied for scholarships and so did he. They all had the same foundation: God first and education second.

“I wanted to be successful,” Stalling said. “I never took any days off. My parents’ success is what motivated me to be the person I am today.”

His dad is a reverend and the dean of culture at his former high school. His mom is a financial counselor for the Chicago Urban League and was president of the PTA.

While some students skipped school. Stalling knew better.

“I knew I couldn’t get in trouble because my dad was the dean,” Stalling said. “The teacher didn’t have to make a phone call, they could just go to his office.”

Still, he said, it wasn’t always easy. “It’s a challenge not to live the life I see my peers living.” But he knew what was at the end of days of goofing off and nights of hanging out. His father was the perfect teacher.

“You’re responsible for your actions and you need to make good decisions,” Stalling told his son. “If you make good decisions, then you will see the outcome.”

What resulted was a teen who rarely went out. But he was not only the top of his class, but of the school. He was president of the Student Government Association, a member of the principal’s advisory council and captain of the basketball team.

He excelled in overachieving, but he knew how to accept defeat. And sports offered that balance, his father said.

Becoming Balanced

It wasn’t supposed to be Stalling’s night. It wasn’t his turn.

He was about two years too early. Still that didn’t stop him from doing what he did best. It didn’t stop him from shining.

It was Senior’s Night at Thea Bowman Leadership Academy, the time for seniors to shine in front of their friends and families. But the coach called in Stalling, a sophomore, to substitute for another senior.

And Stalling couldn’t stop scoring. Some of the other seniors tried to take away the spotlight from the teen. But his older brother cheered him on and the seniors who just wanted to win kept giving him the ball. They won the game: 65 to 43, his brother Kenneth Stalling, Jr. said.

Later when he was asked by a reporter what influenced him to keep going, Stalling gave the only reply that he could. It was the only one that mattered, “My brother said keep shooting.”

Stalling began playing sports when he was seven years old. He started with baseball and then moved on to basketball. His parents attended all his games. And they were there for one of the most painful moments of his athletic career a few years later. So was his brother.

Stalling, Jr. had broken his thumb a day earlier playing sports, so he was on the sidelines. But, instead of staying seated, he kept running back and forth to watch his team play on one side of the field and his younger brother playing baseball on the other side.

After the batter hit the ball, he saw his brother heading for the ball. He heard him yell, “‘I got it,’” just before he collided with another player who was also running for the ball. His brother fell, and he heard the crack. Even before Langston screamed in pain, Stalling knew something had broken. His brother had fallen on his wrist.

Stalling understood his then 13-year-old brother’s pain. He said he had felt the same way the day before.

It would be months before Stalling could return to the game. But through that incident, he made an important discovery. He learned what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to become a pharmacist.

“I got fascinated with medicine,” Stalling said. “Pharmacists give advice to doctors about what medicine they should prescribe.”

And their presence was lacking in his neighborhood. He said the only pharmacy in the neighborhood was at Walgreen’s.

He had found his calling and his legacy. “This is my way of giving back,” he said.

Stalling eventually became a star play in basketball and a gifted left-handed pitcher for the baseball team.

He developed his own rhythm of success and his days became a ballad of regularity: Up at 5:30 a.m., he was at school by 6:30 where he practiced until 7:45.

After going back home to his two-story brick home to freshen up, he was back at school by 8:30 where he had classes until 3 p.m. He then headed to study hall where he did his homework and if there was time left before his practice began at 6 p.m., he studied. His practice ended at 8 p.m. and by 8:30 p.m., he was home for dinner. He studied until 10:00 in the living room, took a shower and by 10:30 he was in bed.

He kept his circle of friends small, a select few with the same goal, he said.

Everyone who knows him said he’s always serious. He always has a poker face, his dad said. “I don’t know if he is happy or sad. He has the one face,” Stalling, Sr. said.

No, it wasn’t easy getting Stalling to relax. But there are times when he would smile, laugh even. Some of those occurred when he and his brother, fluent in their own language, would share an inside joke while the world outside looked on, clueless.

“He’s the one I consider my best friend,” Stalling, Jr. said. “I talk to him about things I don’t talk to other people about basically.”

Becoming a Legacy

It was a miscommunication between the principal and the basketball coach, which allowed a student to play on the team who had not yet officially been enrolled.

But the result was a two-year suspension of all sports at Thea Bowman Leadership Academy last year. The decision by the Indiana High School Athletic Association was delivered through a You-Tube video. Juniors and seniors could no longer compete in state tournaments, they could not transfer, and seniors would not be able to compete for scholarships.

It was an impersonal slap that devastated many. And the normally reserved Stalling decided to speak out. He did it in writing. It took Stalling about 30 minutes to write the letter, which was published online.

“As a student, given the severity of the news, I would have preferred to have heard it directly from our administrators or received a letter,” Stalling wrote. “Many athletes began to fill the hallways crying after viewing the announcement because it was devastating and very impersonal!”

He questioned the association’s decision to punish students for a mistake made by adults.

“I was shocked about the news, and I was also heartbroken not only for me, but for my fellow classmates,” wrote Stalling, who was an alternate on the IHSAA Student Advisory Committee and Junior Class president. “To all the seniors who were counting on the IHSAA tournaments to get them accepted to college and scholarship opportunities, their dreams are now deferred. What are they supposed to do? What am I supposed to do since I cannot transfer to another school?”

The association heard. But, they appeared to only half listen. They lifted the suspension from three sports. Still, it was a small victory. But what thrilled the students even more was that someone had given voice to their distress.

Lamont Holifield, the new principal who came in after the incident, applauded Stalling’s action. Still, he knew the risk the teen had taken.

“He’s willing to risk and put everything on the line. To me that is unusual,” Holifield said.

Holifield spent 14 years in education, 13 of them in the Illinois school system, and he’s seen what being brave can do to students. There they are blacklisted for vocalizing their opinions, he said.

“No one comes out and tells you, but they ensure you can’t do certain things,” Holifield said. For instance, Stalling wouldn’t have been valedictorian, he said.

“They wouldn’t trust him to do the speech since they couldn’t be sure of what he would say.”

Holifield marveled when he heard the teen’s graduation speech. Stalling, he said, urged other students to consider their legacy. “’What is it that you’re leaving behind that will cause others to prosper,’” he recalled Stalling saying.

“Students at his age, they don’t think like that,” Holifield said. “He’s not afraid to be different from the status quo and to stand up against opposition when you have a view point that is different from the norm.”

He said students like Stalling remind him why he started out teaching high school students.

 “People like Stalling keep me enthused about what I’m doing.”

Stalling’s aunt Chelsea Whittington said people like her nephew are changing the story about Gary.

“We have Langston and other individuals who come out and go on to be successful,” Whittington said. “They have changed the narrative: Gary, Indiana is a great place with great people.”

Stalling was one of six recipients of the Eli Lily scholarship. He chose Valparaiso University where he will study biochemistry and play for the Crusaders basketball and baseball teams.

Whittington wants other children to hear her nephew’s story so that they can learn from what he accomplished and go even higher. Despite his accomplishments Stalling, who volunteers in the community and at his church, remains humble, his aunt said.

“He knows God has blessed him and he doesn’t take that for granted.”