Today Is National Parents Day

If you celebrate National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, Tater Tot Day, or the one for cowboys, you will certainly appreciate designating 24 hours to recognize parents, the person or couple who raised you and nurtured you into the capable adult that you are. Every fourth Sunday in July is their day, National Parents Day  which began in 1994 with a resolution unanimously approved by Congress and signed into law by President Bill Clinton.

“There is no way to steel yourself for their absence,” said Jonathan Clarke, a Brooklyn native who lost both parents last year within nine months of each other. “You miss them, and these days with social media when you see others celebrating these events with their still living parents, it reminds you in some ways of the absence of your parents. Most of it doesn’t get to me, but some of it does.”

On Mother’s Day, Clarke “just broke down for a moment” after he realized his coping mechanism of “tucking” his parents into a mental space where they were still in New York and he was in St. Louis where he lived simply didn’t provide psychic protection anymore. Sadly, they were no longer just a phone call away. They were gone.

“If you’re a fan of baseball or know the rules, the person who’s going to hit next, kneels in the on-deck circle. He’s wearing the uniform, and he’s been swinging,” said Clarke. “Then, the person in front of him gets on base. And, it’s that next person’s turn. You don’t have a choice. You have to step up. When I lost my parents, there was a keen sense of, ‘I’ve been here in the on-deck circle, and it’s my turn to bat.’ It was intimidating. As long as your parents are alive, you’ve got covering, there’s a veil, a barrier between you and the realness of your mortality.”

The award-winning writer shouldered on, largely, because he is a father of a 17-year-old daughter.

“My role has always been, I think, one of guidance and support,” Clarke remarked. “I’ve tried to set some example for her of what I would hope she would find acceptable in a man when she became of age.”

Unlike in the 1960s when Clarke grew up in Brooklyn, the family unit has changed in Black America. There were more two-parent households at that time. According to the Annie E. Casey Foundation’s Kids Count Center, 66 percent of Black children now live with one parent.

The Family Who Prays Together…

“The Biblical role of parenting in today’s time doesn’t look really promising,” says Rev. Nicholas E. Nettles, Sr., Pastor of Greater Morning Star Baptist Church in Newport, Arkansas and a staff member of The National Baptist Convention. “[Because] the Black family has become like a dinosaur, it’s almost extinct. You usually have the Mother but no Father. The Father has to play a much better role than what he has played in recent years. The father has to be the catalyst to steer his family in a Godly direction. But until then, we have to praise God for the single mothers and single fathers who have stepped up to the plate!”

Nettles and his wife are parents to three children. He points to Ephesians 6:4 for instruction for Biblical parenting.

“It’s a call for parents to raise their children to respect the commands of the Lord and allow the Word of God to be their foundation,” Nettles stated. “Children have a better chance at life when their parents make sure they are raised in church…which for the most part is a healthy and positive environment, you have less time to get in trouble.”

Parenting Marked by Pain

The Trump administration policy of separating parents at the Southern border from their children is criticized for the trauma it inflicts on young minds. Some critics are also quick to recall the days of slavery when children were routinely separated from their parents and sold, condemning a practice that undermined the Black family.

“There are numerous stories of parents being separated from their children,” Dr. David Vaughn said, Professor of Social and Behavioral Sciences at The University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff. “It was not uncommon for an older slave to take on the role of guardian when a child was separated from its parents.”

The exhibit ‘Last Seen: Finding Family After Slavery’ records the efforts parents often made to find children who had been taken from them. Advertisements placed in newspapers by both parents are children are included in the collection.

Millennial Parenting: Rewriting the Narrative

 An array of statistics indicative of income inequalities and unconscious bias in the workplace suggest Black parents are still facing more challenges than most.  However, A recent Forbes article reported that educated single Black Mothers are excelling in corporate America. The report cited the 2018 Motherly State of Motherhood Survey which found “black mothers are four times more likely to be single and serve as the primary breadwinners of their home. From 2012-2017, the number of single black mothers who earned more than $75,000 grew 106% compared to the growth of single white mothers at 76%. And, in the past five years (from 2012-2017) single black mothers outpaced the income growth of all single mothers.”

Dr. Marilyn Bailey-Jefferson remembers those days. She was a working mother, a single parent and completing her Ed.D. It’s an experience she shares with the parents who enroll their children in her Head Start program at the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff.

She emphasized, “Parents are their child’s first primary nurturer, educator, and advocate. Parental involvement contributes to the overall success of student learning and acquisition of skills that support lifelong success.”

As you look back on the years from childhood through the teen angst and beyond, you and your parents have shared a wealth of memories. And, today – National Parents Day — is probably a good day to add a new one.